How to *psyche* yourself into success in 2025 (step by step)
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Did you know that kids born at the beginning of the school year are more likely to be successful, get better grades, and be better athletes?
Why?
Because when they’re young, these kids are slightly older, and therefore more developed than their peers. And at a young age, even a few months’ difference in age can have a huge impact.
This means that as they grow, there’s a story constantly being reinforced for them that they are bigger, better, smarter, and more talented than others.
This story often leads to huge amounts of self-esteem, not just as a child, but also later on in life, which leads to bolder action taking, more confident decision making, and ultimately more success.
Think about it…
When a child athlete loses a race, there are two different stories they could tell about it:
- “I lost because the other kids are better than me. I’m not good enough to beat them.”
- “I lost because I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Otherwise I totally would have won.”
A person that truly believes that they are the best will not accept any other story as reality.
This is a perfect example of how the stories we tell ourselves about the things that happen to us completely shape our reality.
However, being older doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be more confident.
Just like being younger doesn’t automatically mean you won’t.
Luckily for you, whether you’re old or young, developed or less developed, talented or less talented, smart or not…
You can start right NOW telling yourself better stories that will completely change your life.
If you really want to see success in your life in 2025, this is the #1 skill that will get you there.
So in this letter, I’m going to give you a practical guide on how to do it.
The Storytelling Chain Reaction
The stories we tell ourselves have a huge impact on how our lives play out.
And it actually follows a very simple chain reaction that happens over and over again.
The better you understand this chain reaction, the more power you give yourself to change it.
And the better you get at changing it, the better your life will become.
Here’s what it looks like:
Event → Story → Feeling → Action
First, something happens. Second, we tell ourselves a story about it. Third, that causes us to feel a certain way. And lastly, that determines what we do about it.
This is a chain reaction that we repeat day after day, minute after minute, second after second.
And it controls our entire life.
So let’s break each of these down.
Event
The event is simply what happens. For example:
→ I lost a race
→ My dog peed on the floor
→ I made $10,000
Where a lot of people get stuck is in trying to change the facts.
Reality check: you can’t.
Events are facts. They happened. That’s it.
Most of the pain, resistance, and frustration people feel comes from trying to change or control what’s happening around them.
And if your life is not as successful or anything else you want it to be right now, you can’t change that either.
What you can change, is the story you tell yourself about it.
And that will change everything.
Story
When an event happens, whether you’re aware of it or not, you immediately tell yourself a story about it.
These stories assign meaning to what happens around us.
By assigning meaning to the event, you choose whether that event feels positive or negative to you.
For example:
Negative stories:
- I lost a race → I’m not good at this
- My dog peed on the floor → This dog is so hard to take care of
- I made $10,000 → I don’t know if my work is worth that much
Positive stories:
- I lost a race → Now I have more motivation to train harder
- My dog peed on the floor → Of course, he’s a puppy, this is a good teaching opportunity
- I made $10,000 → My work is really valuable
It’s important to understand that the events that happen to us or around us are not inherently positive or negative, or good or bad.
But what makes them so is the story we tell about them.
Feeling
By simply changing the story you tell yourself about an event, you will feel a literal, physiological energy shift in your body.
Meaning, the story you tell yourself will determine the feeling you feel about the event.
Try it.
- Think about something negative that happened to your recently.
- Now think of any possible positive way to view that same event. You’ll feel a shift.
The part that most people get wrong about this, is that sometimes you don’t get the chance to “just tell a better story.”
Sometimes the feeling is instant.
→ Your kids come downstairs at night for the 15th time and you immediately get angry
→ Your bank account dips below zero and you immediately feel fear
→ You look in the mirror and immediately feel bad about yourself
In these cases, you don’t get time to think to yourself, “okay, what story am I going to tell myself about this event?”
That’s because the story has already been written.
It was written a long time ago, probably when you were very young.
When something similar happened, and your situation, peers, parents, or other external force taught you how to feel and how to react in that situation.
So if an event triggers an immediate reaction, it’s not because there’s something wrong with you.
It’s simply an invitation to explore deeper.
It’s an opportunity to start writing a new story, one that serves you better (more tips on that below).
Action
The feeling you feel about your story about the event can and will affect the next steps you take.
And those next steps are what will determine your future.
If you want to have a better future, you have to make better decisions.
And good decisions rarely come from negative feelings.
Let’s look at an example of how the wrong story can create a spiral of counterproductive actions:
Event: A prospect says “no” on a sales call
Story: “Making money is hard”
Feeling: Fear or frustration
Action: You go into your next sales call with fear and frustration, the prospect senses it, and says “no” again. You reaffirm that your story was true, it IS hard to make money.
Now let’s look at an alternative scenario.
Event: A prospect says “no” on a sales call
Story: “They probably just weren’t a good fit. I have a good product. I just have to find the people who will say yes.”
Feeling: Positivity, optimism, and conviction
Action: You go into your next sales call with confidence and conviction, the prospect feels confident about your product, and buys on the spot. Again, your story was true.
Here’s the takeaway:
Your stories are a prophecy that become self-fulfilled by your actions.
You will always act in accordance with what you believe.
If the stories you believe aren’t serving you, then your actions won’t either.
How To Write New (And Better) Stories
So now that you understand how the chain reaction works, how do you break the chain and start putting yourself on a path towards success?
Well, it all starts with changing the story.
This is not an overnight fix or a quick hack. It takes time and dedication.
But as you practice this, you’ll find that the quality of your life changes and success stops eluding you.
So with that said, here are my best tips for writing better stories:
1. Practice gratitude
Gratitude is the foundation of abundance.
The simplest way to get everything you want in life is to want what you already have.
It may sound overly simple, but after everything I’ve studied and learned about personal development and success, it always comes back to this.
Gratitude doesn’t mean that you can’t want or desire more or something else.
But gratitude is the ultimate form of writing positive stories and assigning positive meaning to the things that happen in your life.
Practiced consistently, it will create a chain of actions that will lead you to success.
Every night in a journal, write down 4 or 5 things that happened that day that you’re grateful for.
If you had a bad day and can’t think of anything, even better.
That gives you the opportunity to take “bad” things that happened and rewrite them from a place of gratitude.
Over time, you will train yourself to write the stories that serve you, and watch as your old stories melt away into history.
2. Question the story
Most people experience pain, resistance, and frustration because they spend their lives questioning the event.
→ Should I have lost that client?
→ Why did I get into that argument?
→ They shouldn’t have said that
Or worse, they question the feeling.
→ I shouldn’t feel this way
→ Just shake it off
→ I need to stop being angry
There’s not point in questioning the event, because you can’t control it.
And in a way, the feeling is just another event. You don’t really have control over it either.
Instead, what you should question is the story.
When you feel an unpleasant emotion—like fear, anger, frustration, sadness—most often that emotion comes from a story you’re telling yourself.
So question if that story is even true.
And if it’s not, is there a better story you could tell about the same event?
3. Explore the feeling
Sometimes the events that happen to us and the stories we subconsciously tell about them are too overwhelming to think clearly.
When you experience high amounts of anger, fear, frustration, anxiety, etc., your prefrontal cortex literally goes offline.
Meaning you physically don’t have the ability to think clearly.
So trying to recite gratitudes or question the story in these situations is fruitless.
The feeling is now just another event.
It’s happening whether you like it or not.
Don’t try to question it (”I shouldn’t feel this way”).
Don’t assign meaning to it (”Why am I such an angry person?”).
Simply accept that it is, feel it fully, and allow it.
As you let go of trying to control it, you’ll find that it moves through you and slowly dissipates.
Then you can start exploring where it came from.
And you can always come back later to question the story that caused it in the first place.
Your Key To Success In 2025
If you want to see success in the new year and crush it in 2025, it’s not about learning a new tactic or strategy to get where you want to go.
I truly believe that the greatest skill you can learn is how to tell yourself better stories.
Do this, and your actions will lead you toward the right tactics and strategies to get you what you want.
If you liked this letter, hit reply and let me know your biggest takeaway.
I read every response.
And if you haven’t yet, make sure to register for my 2025 strategy workshop coming up in a couple weeks. This is the last time I’m doing it.
